February 03, 2008
What's the point of living a life that's not yours? A life that's someone elses unfufilled dream? A life where you can't choose what to do or how you're going to do it?
I fucking feel like a bird stuck in a cage with no future, either way.
Is that what I want? Or is that what you've missed out on and want me to have?
At the end of the day, it all boils down to money, a basic fucking necessity we all need in life. And I still fucking hate money.
And if you think money can keep people happy and satisfied with life, fuck off. People are never satisfied with money because they all want more more MORE. They think they'd aim for their first million and just before they reach that mark, no, a million is not enough, they aim for more. They spend the money on all things unneccessary and flaunt it.
But fuck, I'm not interested in being one of them money minded freak. I don't want to be rich, I just want to be successful, I want to be known and credited for my effort. I just want to be happy.
So why are you fucking restricting me to everything I want.
I might as well give up everything, my wishes, my dreams, my happiness for yours.
You so think money can buy you happiness huh? Are you fucking happy now? No? With such a bitch like me around?
I am just loss for words. You've changed so fucking much, sometimes I don't even know who you are anymore. What is wrong with you?
In your eyes, it seems to me as if I'm the girl with no future. You don't even appreciate or acknowledge the fact that I've been studying so hard. You just want housework to be done even when you see me busy studying. I can't even study at home in peace. Every minute I'm home you just call me to do random simple jobs you are capable of completing yourself. Everyday when I come home after 14 hours of studying all you do is complain that the housework is not done, that my room is so messy. You want me to take up this, take up that, things that I find I do not need now until later in the future, I have time. I want to enjoy what little holidays I'm given, yet you say I'm afraid to learn and I never was. You once said you wouldn't compare, yet now, you keep comparing me to others, to others that are not even in my calibre, in my field, not my age, not those I'm exposed to, not at all similar to me. You are so selfish, you don't think about me, all you think for is yourself. You treat me like dirt, like I have no feelings. Am I such a burden to you?
I not a little girl anymore, I don't want to be dictated on what to do and whatnots. Don't always think just because you're older you know more, times have changed and so do circumstances. I have a mind of my own, a mind to THINK for myself.
fuck it. just leave me alone please.
-nIx- @ [[11:49 AM]]
What's the point of living a life that's not yours? A life that's someone elses unfufilled dream? A life where you can't choose what to do or how you're going to do it?
I fucking feel like a bird stuck in a cage with no future, either way.
Is that what I want? Or is that what you've missed out on and want me to have?
At the end of the day, it all boils down to money, a basic fucking necessity we all need in life. And I still fucking hate money.
And if you think money can keep people happy and satisfied with life, fuck off. People are never satisfied with money because they all want more more MORE. They think they'd aim for their first million and just before they reach that mark, no, a million is not enough, they aim for more. They spend the money on all things unneccessary and flaunt it.
But fuck, I'm not interested in being one of them money minded freak. I don't want to be rich, I just want to be successful, I want to be known and credited for my effort. I just want to be happy.
So why are you fucking restricting me to everything I want.
I might as well give up everything, my wishes, my dreams, my happiness for yours.
You so think money can buy you happiness huh? Are you fucking happy now? No? With such a bitch like me around?
I am just loss for words. You've changed so fucking much, sometimes I don't even know who you are anymore. What is wrong with you?
In your eyes, it seems to me as if I'm the girl with no future. You don't even appreciate or acknowledge the fact that I've been studying so hard. You just want housework to be done even when you see me busy studying. I can't even study at home in peace. Every minute I'm home you just call me to do random simple jobs you are capable of completing yourself. Everyday when I come home after 14 hours of studying all you do is complain that the housework is not done, that my room is so messy. You want me to take up this, take up that, things that I find I do not need now until later in the future, I have time. I want to enjoy what little holidays I'm given, yet you say I'm afraid to learn and I never was. You once said you wouldn't compare, yet now, you keep comparing me to others, to others that are not even in my calibre, in my field, not my age, not those I'm exposed to, not at all similar to me. You are so selfish, you don't think about me, all you think for is yourself. You treat me like dirt, like I have no feelings. Am I such a burden to you?
I not a little girl anymore, I don't want to be dictated on what to do and whatnots. Don't always think just because you're older you know more, times have changed and so do circumstances. I have a mind of my own, a mind to THINK for myself.
fuck it. just leave me alone please.
-nIx- @ [[11:49 AM]]
